I’m Not Scared of You: I Own A Mare
I’m Not Scared of You: I Own A Mare! Anyone who has owned a mare probably knows this saying. It’s been on t-shirts and bumper stickers. Mares have a reputation for being a bit particular.
I was always a gelding person growing up horse-crazed in my teens and twenties. I know many horse people who gelding-only people to this day. Funny now how two mares have found their way into my life, and how much I have changed my tune.
The Mature Mare
Alaska is our Alpha Mare. She’s the matriarch and wise one. She socializes the other horses and teaches them to be obedient. If our herd were in the wild, she would be the one to lead them to food and water and guide them all to safety when threatened by predators. Of all the horses in the herd, male and female, young and old, the Alpha Mare is the one who knows best how to preserve the species.
My husband always says if there were ever a zombie apocalypse, he’d grab Alaska. And it’s funny – I was told in the beginning that Chestnut mares have a reputation for being difficult. “Hell has no fury like a chestnut mare” is how the saying goes. Hmmm. Not true with Miss Alaska.
Alaska’s heart is so big – she has let a young Columbian former gang member who arrived in the US as an 11-year-old literally break dance on her back and she holds the record in sensory sessions allowing a Navy nurse from an aircraft carrier to sleep on her for TWO HOURS. Not to mention the multitudes of children she taught to sweetly ride the canter – including three of my own kids.
Another Important Message from the Universe
Then there is Adobe. She is stunning beautiful – a Barbie-doll-looking Palomino. From the very beginning Adobe was riddled with health problems unbeknownst to me. It was crushing. She was my first back-riding horse. My perfect girl now had to take time off. I used to tell her – “it’s a good thing you are pretty, because you don’t have much else going for you.” She’s just plain grumpy, she suffers from navicular and ulcers. What was I going to do with a horse I couldn’t ride? My bonus daughter, Zoe, so wisely said as a teen: Adobe is here to teach you lessons in horse health. Then in 2017, Adobe colicked. We almost lost her – three months after my father had passed. I was just heartbroken when the vet warned me she didn’t think Adobe would make it through the night. But Adobe’s work was not done and now I realize, she came into my life to teach me many, many lessons. Not the least of which was my own attitude and prejudices about her behavior and demeanor.
Adobe teaches us that, you’re far better off asking nicely for things than assuming you’ll get what you demand — a useful lesson to learn and apply to all areas of life. But like many animals, horses communicate much more through postures, gestures and expressions than they do with their vocal cords. So, if you are really paying attention to Adobe, you learn that she communicates with her front legs…one step forward means she wants to continue, one step back she needs time to process.
Adobe makes you work harder for any affection than any other animal in our crew. It’s like having a cat as opposed to a dog – but she’s even harder than a cat! Geldings are every man’s best friend, whereas mares are selective and that can make their owners feel special.
A great horse will change your life; the truly special ones define it
And while one might say Adobe has required more maintenance from her handlers; she is unequivocally two-sided. Get Adobe around someone who has autism or PTSD and she transforms. She doesn’t demand anything – she just gives and gives and gives. It’s remarkable to see her go from the mean-eyed, grumpy girl who actually nips at her handlers if she doesn’t like how close you are standing to her or how you are touching her – to kind, sweet, and loving with the patience of Job – the biblical figure whose absolute faith remained unshaken despite the numerous afflictions he suffered. Despite her own afflictions, she is patient, giving and loving.
Thank you, Universe for bringing mares into my life. Some horses will test you, some will teach you. And some will bring out the best in you. And – well, I love my geldings but the mares have my heart!
